My Top 5 Thanksgiving Movies!

Here’s it folks!  Thanksgiving isn’t one of my favorite holidays.  Don’t get me wrong…I love the food and spending time with family and friends apreciating the things we are thankful for, it’s just not my fave.  Some of my movie … Continue reading

It’s finished!

My site is finally where I want it to be for now. I’ll be uploading all my reviews over the next week so to those subscribed I apologize for all the emails you’re about to receive!


Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) Miller Meter-9.5/10

Directed By:  James Gunn

Written By:  James Gunn, Nicole Perlman (Comic book-Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning)

Starring:  Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista

PG 13     2 h 1 min – Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi

Continue reading

How I Rate Movies!

Ever wondered where my numerical critique comes from?  Wonder no more!  I’ll break it down for you guys for future reference (with examples)

I base my rating off several criteria.  Being that I’m somewhat technically inclined, camera work and effects play a big part in my reviews when it comes to ratings.  Cinematography or lack thereof can make or break a flick on the meter.  Likewise, if the movie’s story lacks in theme or power, and I lose interest, it drops down the peg board.  I’ll give any movie the benefit of the doubt…if I know that I’m about to watch a Michael Bay film, I do honestly try my best to forget all the blasphemous work he’s given me prior.  At the same time, if 10 minutes into I see all the flaws and errs I see in someone’s previous work, I don’t let it slide.  I base my ratings on aesthetics, camera work, effects, story, plot development, character depth, theme, and dialogue.  If a movie lacks in any of these areas, I drop its rating.

10/10 Rating

If any flick finds itself landing at a 10 on the meter, that means it’s a big fuckin deal to me.  This is the kind of movie that on it’s release day I buy the Blu Ray/DVD/Ultraviolet combo at 24.99 AND the standard DVD, just because I need both cases in my DVD collection.  It’s one of those movies that I’m telling everyone I know that if they don’t see it our friendship will be in jeopardy.  It’s the kind of movie that I watch so many times I can recite it verbatim and never gets old.  10/10 means that story, characters, dialogue, aesthetics and camera work all align in perfect harmony.

the-godfather-poster there-will-be-blood-movieposter

9/10 Rating

Clearly if a movie lands on a 9, it’s the bee’s knees.  Most likely there was one or two little hiccups along the ride that knocked it down a tad.  Example:  I’m watching Star Wars Return of the Jedi and I’m flipping out the entire time at how amazingly epic and badass it is, and then we get to the end and Hayden Christensen pops up CGI’d into the ending…NO!  Damnit why!?!  Had lucas left it, I’d have given it the 10 it deserved.  It’s that situation where I feel in my heart I should give it a 10, but know in my mind that it only deserved a 9.

Guardians of the galaxyLone Survivor promo

8/10 Rating

When something gets an 8, that I liked it enough that I am talking about it with all my friends, will probably buy it the day it comes out on DVD but found 3-5 little qualms with it.  For instance, I loved “The Butler”, A LOT!  However, Oprah is not my favorite and though she had blips of decent acting I felt like someone better could have been cast.  Was the movie still totally awesome?  Totes!  I just didn’t enjoy that one aspect of the movie.

Parkland Movie Poster The Butler

7/10 Rating

Here’s where we slip from the amazing to the “yeah, it was good” but nothing more than good.  A movie will find itself at a 7 on the meter if it was a good movie, but nothing more than a “good” movie.  It’s the kind of flick where I leave the theater, look at my girl (who isn’t a movie buff like me) and say “so, what did you think?” and she responds with “yeah, it was good” but that’s it!  It’s the kind of movie that I buy on DVD/Blu Ray/Ultra Violet combo, but not until it drops 10 14.99 at Target.  It’s the kind of movie that I’ll remember, and I’ll tell my friends to see it in theaters, but I won’t scream it from the mountain tops.

The Grey promo pic transcendence promo

6/10 Rating

Now we’ve entered the territory of “It was alright”.  A 6 on the meter means that I had no initial reaction to it.  It wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad, it was just a movie that I went to.   I walked out of the theater and when asked what my rating will be I respond with “I need to think about it”.  These are the movies that could have been awesome, but fell short.  They’re the movies that I liked, kind of, but didn’t LOVE.  If I’m watching a movie in theaters or at home, and at any point check my watch, it gets nothing higher than a 6…that’s my rule.  If at any point I am bored, or I lose interest, or I feel like it’s dragging, and I check the time, oh boy it’s tough to come back from that.  It’s the kind of movie that I want to be good, but it just didn’t HIT me emotionally, it didn’t move me or surprise me.  Shitty acting, I mean Megan Fox acting, that’ll land you on a 6 and unless the rest of the cast makes up for your terribleness, it’s hard to get higher.

Olympus_Has_Fallen_poster Dead Man Down promo

5/10 Rating

Now we’re talking about movies that BARELY kept me in the theater.  This is the kind of flick that I’m pissed about seeing in theaters, but wouldn’t be SO pissed if I had seen it on Netflix or Redbox.  It’s that movie that you watch because the trailer made it seem like there was hope, and then you watch it and realize that EVERY awesome scene was IN THE TRAILER.  It’s a movie that I hate reviewing because I don’t have much to say about it, I’m not so pissed that I tear it apart but I’m certainly not pumped about it either.

the lords of salem promo The_Wolverine_posterUS

4/10 Rating

Now we’re in the “that shit sucked” category.  It’s that movie that you’re definitely pissed about spending 12$ at the theater and wasting all that time.  It’s a movie that you’ll recommend to someone, but ONLY if it’s on Netflix and ONLY if they’re somehow really into the genre or head over heels in love with the lead…otherwise, it’s a bust.

Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones (2014)the-counselor-poster

3/10 Rating

Here’s where a movie lands if I think it is a COMPLETE waste of time.  These are the movies that I HATE.  This is essentially everything from Michael Bay.  Lens flairs, explosions, no depth, shitty acting, worse script and nothing flows.  If it falls on a 3, don’t even waste your time.

now-you-see-me-poster pain and gain

2/10 Rating

WHAT!?  This movie was actually screened in a theater?  This is the movie that once those credits roll I’m mobbing up to the box office and I’m getting my money back.  Call me an asshole, but I’m pissed my money went to such horrible film making and I cannot be one to support it.  It’s that movie that you and all your friends just talk shit about endlessly, the kind of movie that you’re embarrassed FOR the poor saps in Hollywood who thought it was a good idea.

Identity_Thief_Poster Youre next promo

1/10 Rating

Shouldn’t have ever been a concept.  The kind where I brand it “the worst movie ever” for weeks on end until I’m finally over the fact that I wasted so much of my life watching something so disgraceful to the industry.




3 of my Horror Faves!

Martyrs (2008) Miller Meter-10/10

Directed By: Pascal Laugier

Written By: Pascal Laugier

Starring: Morjana Alaoui, Mylene Jampanoi

Here’s one of my all time favorite foreign horror flicks.  Now I must advised that this one is for experienced horror buffs or those brave enough to endure it!  It’s cut up into a masterful 3 act story that keeps you equally disgusted and horrified until the very end.  I must warn you that even as a seasoned pro this one gets me.



High Tension (2003) Miller Meter-10/10

Directed By:  Alexandre Aja

Written By: Alexandre Aja and Gregory Levasseur

Starring: Cecile De France, Maiwenn, Philippe Nahon and Frank Khalfoun

Here’s a nice little story of a couple of college girls making a sorry attempt to vacation at their parents’ country home.  Shit gets real when all of a sudden a mysterious killer decides to crash their slumber party.  The gore is absolutely tip top, a killer story and amazing acting, and one of the best openers to a horror film I’ve seen to date…this one is easily on my top faves for Halloween.  It was written and directed by one of my go-to’s in the horror community as he later gave us the wonderful remake of “The Hills Have Eyes”.  This was before he had anyone telling him “no dude…that’s too much”.

High Tension


Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Directed By: Charles E. Sellier Jr.

Written By: Paul Caimi and Michael Hickey

Starring: Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Toni Nero, Robert Brian Wilson

Here’s one of my absolute favorite classic horror flicks.  Everyone loves Christmas until a maniac dressed up like Santy Clause kills your family in front of you at the tender age of 8.  Billy then grows up as the seemingly perfect kid, despite his horrific past, until one night Christmas finally caught up to him…SLAUGHTER FEST!!!!!!!  Fun for the whole family, and by that I mean 18+ of course.

silent night deadly night

The Judge (2014) Miller Meter-9/10

Directed By: David Dobkin Written By: Nick Schenk, Bill Dubuque, David Dobkin (story) Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Robert Duvall, Vera Farmiga, Billy Bob Thornton, Vincent D’Onofrio R     2 h 21 min – Drama